The Fear Of Being Alone
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Reckless hearts clear a path wider than a hurricane's aftermath. We've both traveled down that road where in the name of love, anything goes.


Alright, I've been plugging away at this for the past two weeks. It's a new kind of story for me, so I struggled a bit. LOL. I'm interested to see what you guys will think, since I've never done this before. The song I used is Reba McEntire's The Fear Of Being Alone, and the semi-ship I wrote it for is OliviaFin. So enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Olivia Benson smiled as she signaled to the waitress and ordered another bottle of her favorite red wine.

She was sitting in her favorite restaurant, eating dinner with Odafin Tutuola, one of her closest friends and colleague. He had been offering to take her to dinner for months, and finally she had agreed.

Fin leaned back in his seat. "She was my first love, and I will always care about her. But she couldn't handle my job, and in the end, it just didn't work." It was a combination of too many things to count, things that love alone couldn't fix.

How many times had that happened to Olivia? She had lost countless dates and boyfriends for various reasons that all eventually were traced back to her job. She had finally resigned herself to a lonely life, because her job was in her blood. She could never give it up.

But deep down, maybe she didn't want any of those relationships to work out. Maybe on some subconscious level, she purposefully sabotaged them. Why? Because she was fairly convinced that she was in love with someone she could never have.

Clearing his throat, Fin leaned forward in his chair and watched Olivia's face. A few feet away, there was a dance floor with a live band. A smile slowly spread across his face, and he got to his feet.

Olivia watched him curiously. "Where are you going, Fin?"

He walked around the table, stopping beside her. Then he held out a hand to her. "Dance with me, Olivia."

Laughing softly, she placed her hand in his and let him guide her out onto the dance floor. A slow song started, and she smiled as he drew her closer and effortlessly guided her around the dance floor.

As they danced, Fin relished having Olivia this close. For too long he had admired her without saying a word. He watched as Stabler broke her heart time and time again, and he was there to pick up the pieces. But until now, he didn't think he had a chance with her.

Maybe tonight would change that.

The song ended, but instead of pulling away, Olivia leaned up and whispered into his ear. "Let's go somewhere quiet."

Fin grinned. "Whatever you want, baby."

And he would make her want him.

_We ordered up one more bottle of wine_

_You told me your story and I thought about mine_

_You said when you lost her, you lost everything_

_It all started having a familiar ring_

After paying for their dinner, Fin helped Olivia into his car. Then he drove to the Hudson river, where he knew it would be quiet and they could be alone.

They parked, and Olivia smirked when Fin produced a blanket and a bottle of wine. "Think you're going to get lucky, Tutuola?"

Fin chuckled and spread the blanket on the grass. "Just thought it would be a good night to sit by the river, Benson." He held out his hand to her.

She took his hand and sat down on the blanket with him.

As they both watched the river, Fin took a chance and slipped his arm around Olivia's shoulders.

The move was unexpected, but she didn't rebuff him. Instead she leaned into him, welcoming the warmth their bodies created together.

Stabler didn't deserve a woman like this… no one did. Still… He suddenly dipped his head, tentatively touching his lips to hers.

There was a moment's hesitation on Olivia's part, but she finally settled into the kiss and deepened it slowly.

The moon shined brightly overhead, and by the time the first rays of the morning sun warmed the earth, Olivia was in Fin's arms. Their clothes lay in the grass nearby, and she was nestled against his naked chest.

He absently ran his calloused hand over her back. She was incredible…

She could feel it coming before he even spoke. Of course she cared about him, but last night had been something that was more about physical comfort than actual feelings and emotions.

Holding Olivia tighter, Fin nuzzled her head and let out a contented sound.

_So I asked you to take me someplace quiet_

_We wound up at the river for the rest of the night_

_Somewhere around the break of day_

_I could hear it coming from a mile away_

Finally Olivia pulled away and quickly redressed.

Fin watched her, confused. "What's wrong, Liv?"

"Nothing."

Standing up, he pulled his pants up. Then he reached out and grabbed her slender wrist, his fingers curling around it. "I know you better than that, baby girl. What's wrong?"

Her lips parted as their eyes met, and for a long time, she was silent. Then, just as she started to speak, her cell phone started to ring. She reached for it, but he stopped her.

"Liv…"

A few seconds later, his phone rang as well. They both sighed, and as they gathered their stuff and walked back to his car, silence reigned supreme.

_So don't say that word_

_Not the one we've both heard too much_

_You may think you do, but you don't_

_It's just the fear of being alone_

A few nights later, after a particularly grueling day, Olivia found herself in Fin's bed. They had barely spoken a word since she showed up without invitation to his apartment. He hadn't turned her away, and now here they were some four hours later.

The silence was thick between them, but neither wanted to speak. She had been confident that the night by the river would be a one time affair, but she had been the one to change that.

Fin's hand gently stroked her arm, and finally he spoke. "What are we doing here, Liv?"

She stared up at the ceiling. Outside, rain had begun to fall. A flash of lightning briefly lit up the bedroom, followed by the low rumble of thunder. "I… I don't know," she finally whispered.

"What do you want?"

"I'm not sure."

He pulled his arm away and rolled onto his side, so that he could see her face. "Why not, Olivia?" He was afraid he knew the answer, but he had to be sure. Olivia was beautiful, intelligent, fierce, passionate, and understood his job. She was everything he was looking for in a woman, and he had been lonely for far too long.

"Why do we have to talk about it? Can't we just enjoy whatever this is, Fin?"

_Reckless hearts clear a path_

_Wider than a hurricane's aftermath_

_We've both traveled down that road_

_Where in the name of love, anything goes_

He sighed softly, running his hand along the side of her face. "Whatever you want, baby girl."

She saw the hurt in his eyes, and she felt badly for putting it there. But until she did have an answer for him, she didn't want to talk about this. She just wanted to enjoy being with him. It had been a long time since she was this comfortable just being with a man.

Moving closer to her, Fin brushed his lips over hers. His hand slid over her toned abdomen, sending shivers up and down Olivia's spine.

Her eyes slid shut, and a soft groan escaped her lips.

Breathing deeply, Fin covered her body with his much larger one and kissed his way down her neck.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck, tipping her head to the side to give him better access to the sensitive skin of her neck.

He slid into her, and they slowly moved together, silently agreeing that tonight, they wouldn't be alone.

_So don't say that word_

_Not the one we've both heard too much_

_You may think you do, but you don't_

_It's just the fear of being alone_

The next morning, Olivia was the first to stir. Fin was pressed against her, one arm draped possessively over her waist as he slept deeply.

For a minute, she simply laid there, breathing in and out and watching Fin's face as he slept. In his sleep, his guard was down, and he was vulnerable. The muscles in his face were relaxed, and a little smile tugged at his lips as he dreamt.

She contemplated getting out of the bed and leaving the apartment while he slept. Being there when he awoke… That was too intimate.

She scoffed at her own reasoning. He had seen her naked, touched her in ways no man had touched her in years… and waking up with him was too intimate? No, it wasn't.

Satisfied, she slowly curled up with Fin and allowed herself to really relax for the first time in far too long.

_Like a child in the night_

_With no one to hold you_

_And tell you everything's_

_Gonna be alright_

They were in bed again the first time Olivia felt her heart scream it.

Fin looked at her when she suddenly grew quiet. "Liv?" It was a Friday, and he had convinced her to leave work a little early. The only thing they had to do was paperwork, and that could wait until Monday. If they got called in later, then so be it. Until then, he would enjoy the time he got with her.

When she arrived at his apartment, he had dinner, wine, and soft music waiting for her, along with a single red rose. He was a romantic at heart, not a fact many people were privy to.

They had enjoyed dinner and danced a little in his living room before retiring to the bedroom.

Now they were sprawled out on the bed. Olivia was on her back, and Fin's head rested on her firm abdomen.

"Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?"

Olivia swallowed hard. "Fin, this has been a lot of fun…"

"But you want to stop," Fin concluded quietly.

"No. No… I don't think I do. Unless you want to…?"

"Of course not, baby girl. You know how crazy I am about you."

"Yeah, I do." What they were doing was fun, but that was no reason to rush anything. If…if there was a chance of this being real, of them being real, only time would tell.

He kissed his way up her abdomen, until his lips found hers.

She made a soft noise as he kissed her, and her hands absently ran over his back. Maybe this was real. But for now, she wouldn't say a word.

_I must admit, it's been fun_

_But that's no reason to jump the gun_

_If this is real, time will tell_

_So let me bite my tongue and remind myself_

He finally broke the kiss and nuzzled her neck affectionately.

With a chuckle, she rolled him onto his back and pinned him to the bed. Then she caught his mouth in a hungry kiss.

As they lost themselves in each other, the phone started to ring, and Olivia groaned. "That's me…" She reached onto the nightstand and grabbed her phone.

Fin pulled away and listened as she talked. When she hung up, he looked at her. "Case?"

"Yeah." As she said that, his phone started to vibrate. He sighed, and they both rolled out of the bed and searched for their clothes.

Fin found his pants and pulled them on. "Liv?"

"Yeah, Fin?" She grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head.

"I want to take you dancing tomorrow night."

She looked at him, and the warmth in his eyes nearly brought her to her knees. But somehow she retained her strength and composure as she closed the distance between them and kissed him softly.

They broke apart, and he smiled. "Is that a yes?"

"Absolutely."

They left the apartment together, taking Fin's car to the station. But long before they ever arrived, Olivia finally admitted to herself what her heart already knew. Maybe she was afraid of being alone, but it was becoming more than that. Much more than that.

And suddenly, that didn't feel like such a terrible thing.

_So don't say that word_

_Not the one we've both heard too much_

_You may think you do, but you don't_

_It's just the fear of being alone_

The End.

A/N: Hope everyone liked this. And now for some shameless plugging. SVUproductions and I started a new account (obsessedproductions) and our newest multichap EO story is on it (Time Of Your Life). Give it a read! LOL. Thanks for reading, and please review!


End file.
